Does your Therapist Need to be in Therapy?
My second experience with a talk therapist started out well enough. I was 28 and had just escaped my relationship with the narcissist. In fact, in therapy is where I discovered he was a narcissist and sex addict most likely and it helped me understand and put the relationship in context.
It didn’t change much how I felt at the time, but at least it gave my conscious mind something to work with. Some way to begin and deal with the hell I’d been through.
Anyways, back to the therapist. I saw him weekly for about 9 months. Over that time I noticed a shift in the therapeutic relationship. My therapist was talking more of the time. Starting to get into some of his struggles with where his current office was and the group he was part of. By the end of my time with him it got to where he was probably using half the time to talk about his stuff.
I remember thinking “even when I pay someone to listen to me they don’t.” He just became yet another person in my life reflecting back the beliefs in my subconscious mind that no one cared what I had to say and that I didn’t matter.
Unfortunately, I am not alone in this. I’ve now heard from many people who’ve experienced similar things in therapy. Where the therapist spends a lot of time talking about themselves.
Being on that other side and knowing more people in the healing arts and therapy world I’ve come to learn a few things that I’d like to share:
Most healers found their way to their profession because they have trauma and they don’t want anyone else to experience what they have.
Some of them have done a lot of healing work and can help you immensely because they aren’t projecting their own crap onto you.
Others have done some healing and can help you get through at least the things they have gotten through.
And lastly, some have done zero work. They can still help people, but it’s not going to be nearly as beneficial.
I was shocked when I learned that some schools don’t require psychology or counseling students to receive therapy as part of their degree. How in the world can you empathize with clients if you’ve never been on the client side of things? And if you don’t deal with your own shit, how can you help others with theirs.
If you have found yourself in the position that I did, and you still need help from a new person, do a quick interview with a few potential therapists. Ask them the following:
Have you experienced therapy as a client/patient in your school program?
If not, have you received therapy outside of your school program?
Roughly how long were you in therapy
Do you currently have a therapist you can see if you find yourself getting triggered by what clients/patients discuss?
I wish you well on your healing journey, and as always, I’m here if you want chat about how I can help.
To answer the above questions:
1 &2 I did talk therapy for about a year in total in my 20’s. I had monthly Cellular Release Therapy sessions for about 3 years to start healing from my illness. And then have done about a year's work of Hypnotherapy under the current models I know. All in all, a crud ton of therapy ^_^
3. Yes, I have colleagues that I call upon as needed to do hypnotherapy sessions for me.
Resources:
Schedule a Discovery call here if you are ready to see how Hypnotherapy can help you. You can also check out my recordings made just for you at this link!
