Hypnotherapy for Recovering from Narcissistic Relationships
Have you ever had the displeasure of being in a familial or romantic relationship with a narcissist? The word narcissist is thrown around a lot in this day in age. I am speaking specifically about people who have the true personality disorder which the Mayo Clinic defines as:
“Narcissistic personality disorder — one of several types of personality disorders — is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism.”
If you have had a parent or been in a romantic relationship with a narcissist then you may struggle with having any sort of self-esteem. I know that after I finally escaped my romantic relationship with a narcissist I was a shell of a human being. There was nothing left in me besides raw terror and so much self-hatred it’s amazing I could function. Narcissists really know how to make you feel mentally drained.
If only I had been better somehow then maybe he would have been nicer. Somehow everything was my fault in the relationship, except the positive aspects... I even tried to leave once and he guilted me into staying this way, by telling me how I could be better and therefore things would be better with us. I remember being so completely baffled at why he would even want me to stay because it was clear he hated me.
This relationship helped to magnify every negative belief I held about myself by that point in my life (ages 25-28). If you’ve dealt with a narcissist then you may have some of these thoughts/beliefs:
There’s something wrong with me
If only I could be better then ___
I am worthless
I’ll never be good enough
I’m stupid
I wish I was invisible
What did I do wrong now
Figure out how they’ll be nice to me and do those things
Feel like you are walking on eggshells
Feel afraid when you are going to see them, never sure what mood they are in
Learn how to try and change their mood
Even if they don’t physically hit you, you’re afraid they might one day
I am a burden
I’m unlovable
Feel isolated or alone
If my parent doesn’t even love me then who can?
Avoid others because you’re afraid they might ask how you are and you’ll breakdown
And oh so many more terrible thoughts and beliefs that can turn you into an anxious wreck.
Step one for dealing with a narcissist is to find a way out. I know for some this isn’t possible because you’re under age and have to live with them, or you may be financially dependent. But if you can, find a way out. You don’t deserve this, you never have.
If you’ve freed yourself from them and are working on healing from it then here are some affirmations for hypnosis. You’ve taken the hardest step and freed yourself, now it’s time to remind yourself of the wonderful amazing person that you are and let that become your new reality.
It takes time to get these ideas in, and I put them all in the progressive format because it’ll help them take better. I know that for me it’s taken a while to really recover and build myself a solid foundation of healthy self-esteem. But it is worth it, I now have an amazing life-partner and who I am not afraid of. You are worthy of someone who truly loves you for who you are and helps you feel good about yourself, not shitty.
Affirmations
More and more now I trust myself therefore I listen to my intuition and act on what I hear
More and more now I love and accept myself as I am
More and more now I know and deeply feel I am more than good enough
More and more now I feel I am worthy of love and kindness
More and more now I know and deeply feel I am safe
More and more now I know and deeply feel I am wanted
More and more now I know I am smart and intelligent
It is right, good, necessary and natural for me to do what is right for me, therefore I easily do what is right for me
More and more now I know I am only responsible for my emotions and actions
More and more now I know I am a blessing
More and more now I share my experiences with trusted friends and loved ones therefore I feel connected and loved
More and more now I know and deeply feel I am perfect as I am
More and more now I feel safe when I’m seen
More and more now I know it is safe, right and good to take up space in the world therefore I happily expand my energy
More and more now I surround myself with people who I feel safe with
More and more now I know and deeply feel I belong
You’ve got this; I believe in you
Resources
Check out this blog post for more affirmations on reversing negative self-thoughts
