Releasing the Gremlins

I have struggled my whole life with feeling like there is something wrong with me. It’s my fundamental limiting belief that has run my entire life. Working through the layers of this belief has been my perpetual journey towards mental health. Every time I circle back to it I think “goddammit, not this again! Why isn’t this fully better yet?”

And the truth is I haven’t been ready to let it go, because who am I without it? If there isn’t something wrong with me, then what?

Then I might actually have to show up the way I know I can. And so, I sit here writing to you all as I ponder this.

I reeeaaallly want to let it go completely this time. I actually feel ready, but this little gremlin keeps popping around in my mind, “Bullshit, you’re not going to do it. You’re too lazy to finish this.”

In response I came up with this imagery exercise. I’m sharing this with you in case you’re ready to get rid of a gremlin you have. If it helps you can do the walking and arm motion actions. If you struggle with “seeing” things in your minds eye then use your other senses, whatever feels best to you.

Imagine sense and feel the gremlin out in front of you

Reach out and catch it

Say out loud to it

·        I forgive you now

·        I forgive myself for listening to and believing you

·        I am ready to release you

Notice you are at a train depot and you walk out onto the platform

Put the gremlin in the train and close the door

Watch as the train leaves

Watch it until you can’t see it anymore. Until it’s gone over the horizon or thru a tunnel.

 Now, Inhale and exhale slowly

Again, Inhale and exhale slowly

One more time Inhale and exhale slowly.

Place both your hands on your heart

Say out loud “I am free now”

Again, “I am free”

One more time “I am free”

Notice how you feel in your body now

I feel lighter and relieved in my body. Like a weight has been released.

I hope that this helps some of you the way it helped me. I know it’s time to let go of these lingering beliefs that hang on by a thread, a very strong thread.

Healing is a journey and one that can often feel lonely. To help other people out there with their loneliness I am starting to share more of my process on the blog as I continue healing. You are not alone, and if you ever need help on your healing journey you know where to find me.